As I listen to the news today, I hear of another boy being wounded in a Gaza tent as he receives urgent medical attention for his previous shot wound. As the doctor turns the boy over to complete the procedure another rogue shot comes into the medical tent and provides fresh trauma for all concerned. We live in a world of hurt upon hurt, pain upon pain. What compounds this is that sometimes there is not a lot of intelligence in how we choose to help. Sometimes we are more focussed on what we want to do or achieve than the best way of administering the best for the person receiving care. No doubt in this instance the medics had little choice on where to care for the boy, their bravery is outstanding, their strategic thinking so difficult in a place of so much disorder. This is the nature of the present conflict in Gaza ... a complete mess in which both sides seem to fail in aiding the full flow of care or human compassion. Reporting / bringing aid on the frontline is so hard in the fog of war. Where trauma, pain and needs abound decision making becomes more critical.
It does raise a tactical question though...
is our desire to help reducing future hurt or increasing it ?
In gospel ministry an old saint said "you can't preach to empty stomaches, because they can't hear you over the rumbling. " There are parallels to many who are hurting in different and tragic ways across the globe. Decision making for grace driven, Christ centred mercy ministry needs to be clear.
Of particular concern to our team over the last 20 or so years have been the orphans and effective orphans (those who do have parents or family but want nothing to do with them or offer them no care.) Many initiatives have been set up across the world. I will fill in details on an update at a later stage, but a colleague thought it was worth mentioning (in bullet form at least) a few things we think have been percolated for more wisdom in the battle to care for the most vulnerable in our world. Myriads of children suffer not because of their choices but because of the adults who have brought them into that predicament. The question is how adults who show love in the name of Christ might work to undo what can be undone and set things on a healthier trajectory. The last thing we want is to compound the pain of others by our bad decision making.
1. PREVENTION IS TRULY BETTER THAN CURE:
In Easter Europe and Philippines particular, we work with local authorities to identify children and teenagers most at risk of going on to the streets. I can't tell you how strategic this has been. I commend those and their wisdom for spearheading this. Other agencies are keen to have the photo or TV advert of the street child to raise millions, but really ? do things need to get to this stage ? Is this the way of dignity and wisdom before God ?
WHY DO CHILDREN END UP ON THE STREETS AND WHAT CAN BE DONE TO STOP THEM GETTING THERE ?
Children simply come to the end of the road when adults are not prepared to fund them or not motivated / able (maybe due to alcoholism, mental health or addiction) to look after them. Some might be orphans in the state system (with all its underhand backhanders to carers which reduce funds to care for children) but even this has a time limit, an end of care cutoff at a certain age (maybe 16). Then when there is no profit for the care provider, the child is forgotten (kicked out!) long before they have been prepared for the real world never mind the underworld. The trauma culture of street living is hard undone. Even the most regenerate, sanctified Christian young person or adult that has been completely changed since their time on the streets still show many instinctive signs of that time. Trauma is easily re-triggered, instinctive self protection behaviour is hard to unlearn. We see the same things from soldiers coming back with PTSD. Positive relationships through building trust are harder when you come from an environment where no one can be trusted and all relationships are manipulative, abusive or without order.
Of course we are not saying that we don't work or want to work with children off the streets (far from it), but our preference and desire would be that they never get to that point in the first place. So we believe it is wiser to work as early in the process for prevention as possible. This might be less photogenic, less dramatic, less tear jerking for the donors who want a "story" of redemption, (therefore we are undoubtedly less likely to receive a donation), but before God we believe this the right thing and wiser approach.
2. BUILD INTELLIGENT FOUNDATIONS OF FAITH AND MINISTRY:
INVEST IN SAFEGUARDING AND RISK ASSESSMENT AS AN EXPRESSION OF A HEART OF FAITH, DILIGENT OBEDIENCE AND WORSHIP.
GOD WILL BLESS THE FOUNDATION OF CHRISTLIKE HUMBLE SUBMISSION. THE BUILDING UP OF DISCIPLES AND CHANGED LIVES WILL BE STRONG WHEN WE ACT IN HIS WISDOM.
In the chaos of the Urban Jungle we need to be extra vigilant with care (especially of ourselves and the team). I heard someone say once, "we don't have time to do risk assessment, there are kids starving here". Of course I understood their commendable heart, and eagerness to be activists - just to do something, but the truth is ... that without caring for the team there will be no team to care for children. There's so much arrogance to thinking that we can do whatever we want and it will be blessed of God.
Safeguarding vigilance is for the protection and wellbeing of the team as well as the children. Risk analysis and proactive care and prevention helps both those who serve and being served. Nothing is wasted by taking time out to regularly train and consider these matters in greater detail, to train others. I actually think this is the mind and heart of God. He is a God of order. In a world of Chaos, I see that those who put their time into ordering care with transparency and wisdom are those God blesses most. This might fly in the face of those who are motivated by numbers ("today we fed 4000 children") but the story is always more nuanced and complex than a single stat. Lives are complex, the grace of God is simple but the outworking of it is manifold and has so many layers of influence and impact. It is our role to understand this as best as we can. Sometimes it is right for God to answer our prayers with a "NO" as he gives us a smaller ministry to be more faithful with.
Sometimes we have to set (accept) a limit on how many children can be helped. We are not the Saviour of the world, He is. If He sets a limit, or diligent care says that we are compromising team care by attempting too much, we need to hear His wisdom with a humble heart, and accept that we are only part of His work, a small component. We are a piece in His jigsaw not the total picture or total answer to the worlds needs. We do not have the ultimate vantage point, ultimate divine wisdom of missional orchestration, or total sovereignty of control... He does. All HIS WAYS are perfect, God is Good in all His ways.
Faith ministry in biblical terms is never blind, but open eyed. Caleb saw the mountain and giant opposition from every perspective before He said that God was bigger. It is an outworking of faith that invests time into the details we trust God for. Be real and open about what you are up against, detail it before the Lord in prayer and then prepare to lead your team in care well. What some call "faith" is actually blind optimism where they ask God to bless the mess. Do the hard yards of preparation, risk assessing, proactively safeguarding. Those who are negligent, uncaring of workers and children, do not offer an intelligent prayer for God to care for others through them.
3. THERE ARE TIMES WHEN HELPING CAN HURT:
Intelligent care notes two things...
A) WHAT WE ARE AIMING AT: The strategy of what we are trying to achieve / where the long game is heading is so important, as is our accountability to stick to the task. Ministry drift is so common, and can be avoided by accountability.
B) THE BEST WAY TO GET THERE: How we help those we care for to learn to care for themselves.
Ultimately a transformed life in Jesus means that those who know Him have a wonderful new identity in Him and His family. His eternal strategy is the best focus. There are however practical issues that need to be navigated along the way which need practical wisdom from God. We need to care for people regardless of whether they respond to Him in faith and trust or not. His general grace is for all made in His image who should have dignity.
Learning to eat properly, cook properly, wash properly, get out of bed and be on time, trust relationally, work honestly, learn humbly are all things which need to be learned incrementally and not spoon fed. When we feed children and don't help them to feed themselves or others we can breed selfishness, entitlement and laziness. I have seen this excused by phrases like " they have been through so much, we can't expect any more" or "if we don't show them generosity, no one will". Both phrases are almost true, but learning to care for ourselves is one of the greatest things we learn from good parents and guardians. If children do not have such care, it is part of our redemptive role to teach these disciplines in a very patient, unconditionally loving and consistently dignified way. I guess where the rubber hits the road for me is what is deemed most important. For some "the project", "the way we do it at the center", the "reputation of the charity or leader" becomes an idol rather than the means or tool surrendered to God for His greater purposes. Children need to get to a better place of self care, and that place ultimately is when they are independent of us. Our goal is to be a nobody... not needed, out of a job. We are servants. This demands humility and faith, trusting God not ourselves. I do believe the biggest danger to those who care for vulnerable children in ministry is pride.
If we can't do the above in our system, we need to change the system. If we are caring for children because it makes us feel good, to be cathartic about our past, we are in the wrong job, and probably would benefit from a few sessions with a wise and sensitive biblical counsellor. I thoroughly recommend "helping without hurting" if you have not read it. It raises some helpful issues.
4. PEER GROUP INFLUENCE IS MASSIVE: Belonging, influence and identity are such important things to think through. Everything is built on the foundation of how we view ourselves and our worldviews.
If you have 1 adult leader and 6 children in a larger group of 30 children who spend most of their time with each other, the balance of influence and culture is probably with the children. The prevailing identity is likely defined by the minds of the children. They are strong, they have learned resilience from what they have been through and we need to see that by default they set the temperature, culture, momentum and direction. This is a particular issue when children are adopted or cared for as siblings too numerous for the care system. (I think of family of 7 who no-one wanted to take from Orphanage. The eldest acted as Dad, the second eldest as Mum, nothing happened without their direction, influence or mental assent.)
The intelligent worker puts strong believing teenagers with good daily habits amongst others. It is what one person described to me as having "a good spread of currants in the scone." To set the pace and increase the transparency of changing behavioural living, peer group mentors are so important. The metrics involved mean that often a strong team is needed just for one or two children to have all the help and influence they need. If you are not thinking about your metrics, and who has the balance of influence, you have not thought it through. Trying to do it all yourself, or assuming because you love God it will undoubtedly work out, you are not being too clever and maybe in danger of being very proud. Stronger characters need stronger influencers to get somewhere healthy.
The best advert for the gospel and what influences best for transformation are those who were once upon a time strong characters of opposition and chaos, who now become strong "firm but fair" mentors of the next generation as they bring them to order with love, respect and dignity. I think of one girl (now woman) so changed that no-one would argue with Her. (I certainly didn't :))
Such is her natural stature/ demeanour, and force of Character, she is a natural leader. She was a leader in orphanage and on the streets. Her life story now says that Christ transforms... robustly, strongly !!!!. She is soft and gentle with a sensitive heart behind a robust shell. Whilst being still robust and hard to argue with, you know in her eyes that she knows pain in this world and has experienced it to the 'nth degree. Christ has brought about an appropriate change. Where there was hardness there is now steadfastness, where there was impetuous selfishness there is now eager sheltering of others. This outworking of a care community is what we pray for. It is in some ways the contemporary equivalent illustration of Saul become Paul. With God, anything is possible, all things can be redeemed for His glory.
Not everyone who comes through a loving transformative home and relational eye opening meeting with Jesus should then be in charge of the next generation or take care of vulnerable or traumatised children. For some, a life outside of this environment and into non systematic, "normal" family away from trauma backgrounds is way more appropriate / redemptive, However for some, it is appropriate they give out comfort to others from the comfort they have received from GOD. This is their life calling and ministry. You need to keep the influential, gifted and called in your team (even if they are used subversively, at a distance, or under the radar). Chose your future leaders carefully. Have a mix of those outside and from within the culture - the balance and perspective will be wiser.
5. WORK WITH THE TRUSTED LOCAL CHURCH:
Don't do it your way, do God's work His way, and you will know God's blessing and provision.
There is nothing which compares to the NEW COMMUNITY OF CHRIST to help transform children thoroughly or anyone for that matter. Yes it is Jesus who transforms lives most. If we are not a gospel ministry but simply a social action feeding centre ... we have not dealt with the soul, we've done less that half a job. Christ is at work in glorious ways across the world with the most forgotten children on the planet. Interestingly though He choses His local church to make the biggest and most holistic lasting differences. I will talk another time about how reaching the unreached means that often we need a church long before our care of children really takes off in effective life transformation.
In the new community we find multigenerational family committed to us. Here we find community which watches our backs and keeps us accountable when we are let out on a leash and in danger of unwittingly causing ourselves harm. Here we find healthy role models who get grace. Those who have been forgiven much, love much. Church family is a place of acceptance, forgiveness and nurture when it is authentically filled with JESUS. At least it should be. I understand it isn't always. It may seem tempting for some to set up a ministry detached from a local church for autonomy - detached from the transparency, accountability, but it is never wise, because God's plan and mission is always through the church, and this is what He blesses for His glory. If a team and community is not in place, invest in that first.
The diversity of sanctified wisdom, influence, mentorship and love found in the biblically literate church is always greater than any human institution. Some institutional care for children setups say more about their founder than they do about the way of Christ. I would urge each to run away from setting up an idol to immortalise or commend their own compassion - this is just sinful. Look at folks like George Muller, but see the Christ behind it. George wasn't the saviour, he was the one who learned to point to the saviour and follow His way, plan and provision. Be inspired by others in the past, but only so that the GOD they worship is honoured more in your own life. Don't blindly copy their actions and industry without knowing the God that produced it, who may call you to do it a different way for your context and generation as you personally submit to His word and reform your life under it. There is no substitute for a close walk with Jesus. Second hand mission never works, it needs to come from Him for Him. We are here to make much of Him and sink ourselves into the background as we give Him all the glory. We are nothing other than stage hands, behind the curtain doing the menial work, and it is a privilege because of the love, dignity, and grace, He has shown us.
I hope something here is of help. God bless all those who work in His name with vulnerable children, submitting to His word and way, honouring Him through character and diligence to bring glory to Him. God bless you and cause His face to shine on you as you do His work, with His character, diligence, care and blessing.
